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My Ridiculous Fear of Spider Webs
And what it says about autism and anxiety.
I have an embarrassing confession to make.
Yesterday, I couldn’t leave my front porch because of a giant spider web. Yep. My fear of spider webs is so intense that it will stop me from doing everyday things.
I have never met another person who has a fear of spider webs. Most people are afraid of spiders (which I also am), but not the web itself.
What bothers me about this fear is that I am a huge advocate of doing what scares you. I’ve spent a large part of my life throwing myself into situations that I’m afraid of. In fact, emotional fears and unresolved issues are challenges that I love to resolve and conquer.
But spider webs? They make me want to run for the hills — well, as long as there are no webs on the way.
For various reasons, my fear of spider webs is not something I have been able to get over in quite the same way. Even the act of searching for a spider web image for this article was enough to send me into a state of immense discomfort.
What is it about the web that’s so scary, you might ask?
Before I get to that, I first need to explain how this fear relates to two other conditions that I have: autism and anxiety.
The Role of Autism
It wasn’t until just over a year ago that I learned I’m mildly on the autistic spectrum (known as adult Asperger’s). While I haven’t been officially diagnosed, I’ve done informal tests and have learned that I carry key traits when it comes to literal thinking and sensory issues.
One of the most enlightening discoveries for me is that most people on the autistic spectrum have fears which are both unusual and sensory in nature. When I was little, I also had a fear of the wind and things that moved (such as merry-go-rounds). What I didn’t realize at the time is that these were sensory fears.
Knowing that my fear of webs is largely sensory makes a lot of sense. The idea of touching it, or it touching me, will send me into intense states of gripping fear. Just looking at it sends horrible tingles all through my body and the thought of touching it is even worse.
